Why Does it Smell So Bad in Here?

Question: Why does it smell so bad in here?

Answer: It’s because the entire building is full of Montreal Canadiens fans! Well not entirely full, and not all Montreal Fans. I think I may need to share a few things before I continue with this post so you know where its coming from.

My list of hated sports teams goes something like this:

1.) New England Patriots

2.) Philadelphia Flyers..ugh

3.)The Cowboys, Eagles, Yankees, and Red Socks all share this spot.

4.)Any Canadian hockey team (including this years Olympic team, but minus the Canucks)

My list is built like this for many extremely petty reasons. The Patriots are in the top spot because they beat my Pittsburgh Steelers in too many AFC Championship games. The Flyers..ugh…are in the second spot because the entire team is made up of a bunch of dirtbags, and their fan base is comprised of mostly the same. The third spot is filled with a bunch of teams with cocky fans and bandwagoneers, which I don’t like. The fourth spot doesn’t really match my reasoning for the others. I don’t like Canadian hockey teams (minus the Canucks), because their fans travel SO WELL. So well in fact, that fans like my brother and I, know that the games are going to be full of energy and cheers, just not for our home team.

As angry as I may seem on this website, I am actually quite the respectful fan in real life. I scream things at the top of my lungs, mainly at the refs and Alex Tanguay, but never with profanity out of respect for others. But when it comes to Canadians, there is just something about them that rubs me the wrong way. Maybe its the unspoken arrogance that they seem to possess because hockey is god in their frozen homeland, or it’s the horrible French language. Whatever it is, I know I don’t enjoy them. Except “Ted”. “Ted” is a Canadian who drove 23 hours to vacation here in our beautiful state, like many of the other Canadian hockey fans do, because the city in Canada where he lives is -15 right now. Yeah, that’s an actual temperature! The thing that set “Ted” apart from the other Canadians in the building is that he came to support the Lightning (and almost fight other rowdy Canadians, but we wont get into that part.) I am using quotes for his name because I actually don’t know it, but figured he looked like a Ted. He and his wife were good people, whose daughter actually dated our own Paul Szczechura at one point in her life. “Ted” was a nice guy, and I am glad I got to meet at least one Canadian that I liked in my entire life.

So with all of that said, our Bolts faced off against Conference foe Montreal, in a game that ended in OT with  The Bolts falling 2 to 1.  Smitty played extremely well again in a game where he faced 35 shots, and the rest of his team seemed to be getting outplayed. Kurtis Foster put the only goal up for us. He also almost broke Scott Gomez’s leg with a slap shot.  It literally took everything Gomez had to get back to the bench on his own. With the point in the OT loss, we are tied for 8th in the playoff race, with the Canadiens in 7th with 43 points. We have earned points in 3 out of 4 games of our 5 game home stand.The Penguins come into town on Saturday. Hopefully Sidney Crosby has shaved that sad excuse for a mustache by then….

  • Steve

    Ummm… Don’t like Canadians eh. Anyways you might want to talk more about the actual game as opposed to talking about how you hate Canadians and French people. But as a Bills fan I do hate the Patriots. But seriously I’ve never heard someone admit that they don’t like Canadians. You must be jealous of our beer.


    • Dustin Staggers

      Being as though me and my brother write this site, I think we will stick to writing about what we feel like writing about. This particular day, it was about Canadians and Mounties.

  • Chelsea

    Not everything from Philly is dirty…I definitely showered ;)

  • http://pewterplank Dustin

    Steve is just hate. He is almost like an English teacher. You should have wrote about this, you should have wrote that, you should have spelled this like that.

    Real Canadian style whining.

  • Anvilcloud

    The most ironic thing that one could possibly imagine is the American who wrote this tripe accusing people of another nation of arrogance.

  • Geoff F

    Vinny Lecavalier, Martin St.Louis, Alex Tanguay, Stephane Veilleux, It must suck hating your own team of francophone Canadians.

  • mayo

    god, what pathetic comments. Who really gives a shit what you think about us Canadians or our teams. Someone directed me to this column and it will be the only time I’ll be here. I recently brought my daughter to disneyworld, spent in excess of $4000 in your state. Most people were nice and I think Americans are nice in general. Hopefully they are all not like someone like you. Kinda regret doing this if all Floridians are like you. I enjoy watching the Habs play but then forget about them until they play again. Get a grip on reality. Its only a game and no reason to start anything other than a reasonable intellignet debate (which this is far from).

  • mayo

    oh, and by the way, thanks for the 4 points. Sure was sweet.

  • dmann

    Hey what is with all of this hate for Canadians?America is supposed to be a god fearing country that loves all.You guys should worry about funding a universal health care system to look after your poor ans sick instead of funding the war in Afganistan and sprending billions to make more billions for big arms companies.Try to enjoy hockey for what it was meant to be ,a way to show you fuckers you arent the best at everything

  • Phil

    I’m sorry if we’re able to sell out games. It’s just an impulse. Don’t be jealous.
    and as Mayo said. Thanks for 4 points.

  • http://pewterplank Dustin

    I love it. This has been great debate. Not sure how it turned political in here, but I do appreciate the comments guys.

    I do want to say though, I think everyone took this a little seriously. The post does start out naming about 6 American teams. If we hated the country that every one of those teams was in, we would hate ourselves. Did nobody pick up on this? We don’t hate our own players on our team, and we don’t really hate Canadiens. It does say, my brother hates them BECAUSE THEY TRAVEL SO WELL. He cap locked it out, so everyone could see that.

    I’m glad it sparked a comments dialogue though.

  • james

    can any americans even locate canada on a map?? or even mexico? lol yea – 15 is a real temp

  • mayo

    well, us Canadian fans take our hockey seriously and about as serious as you guys take the NFL. An attack on one provokes an attack on us all. Keep that in mind when referencing ‘how we smell’ and ‘how we act’ and ‘how and why we travel.’ Personally I would just prefer to talk hockey and trash other teams respectfully. But thanks James for your clarification. And happy new year.

  • mayo

    oops, thanks Dustin for clarification.Apologies.

  • Dino


    Most of us well traveled Canadians do understand tongue in cheek commentary and I actually enjoyed it. PS how can ya not hate Vancouverites too? Man, they are as bad as those damn Danish people!!!

  • http://BoltsByTheBay Dustin

    Mayo I’m glad you came back!

    Dino – I’m actually at the Pens Lightning game right now and your comments had me laughing my ass off.

  • http://www.good-forex.com/ Good Forex

    nice! Nice post…Thank you for sharing some good things!! :)