As you well know, we have reached the slow news part of the NHL summer here on the Fansided network. But are we going to let that stop us from talking NHL?. NO WAY! Some of the other guys (and gals) on our sister sites have decided to make top 5 lists, such as “top 5 arenas to watch a game in” or “top 5 biggest rivalries for their team”. We here at BBTB decided to go in a different direction. We love our Bolts, and equally hate other teams players. So we (I) decided to compile this list of the 5 players that, if given the chance, I would gladly punch in the face. Although we think alike, I believe my brother Dustin’s list may be different then mine. So here we go…..
5. Danny Briere/ Scott Hartnell, Flyers – So technically this is a six person list but I don’t like these guys for the same reason. I think they both play a tad dirty for my liking. Briere is over-payed in my opinion, and whines like that is his job. Scotty Hartnell plays dirty and needs to cut his goddamn hair.
4. Daniel Carcillo, Flyers – Hey, surprised to see another dirty Flyer make this list? Well don’t be, because I thought about just filling out the rest of this list with their roster. After watching countless videos of this guy cheap shotting the rest of the league and diving like he was in Bejing Olympics, I have had enough. Then he decided to grow that terrible mustache which just put me over the edge. I wonder if its a requirement in this guys contract to look like he is a homeless person. Shave your face and get a haircut you diving bum!
3. Sidney Crosby, Penguins – So these next three guys were tough to figure out how to put them in order. Crosby is a whiner. I’m not sure if there is anything worse then a super talented athlete that is also a huge crybaby. Crosby is the NHL’s Kobe Bryant. Super talented, but comes with incessant whining and stupid ass facial expressions. And don’t get me started on that playoff ”beard” he grows. I’ve seen 8 year old Mexican boys with more facial hair then that guy. The icing on the cake was the Team Canada gold medal win over the USA in the most recent Olympics. It’s still too painful for me to talk about…..
2. Chris Neil, Senators – The highlight of the mediocre second half of last season for me was watching Mike Smith punch Chris Neil in the face, after the dirty bastard tripped Smitty outside of the crease. If you missed it, let me refresh your memory….
Come on now! I don’t really even have to go on with this one do I? If this next guy would have kept his mouth shut, Chris Neil would have been number 1 on my list.
5. Alex Tanguay, Flames – After this season was over and some joker signed Tanguay in Calgary he said this on TSN, and I quote, “I never got an opportunity in Tampa Bay”. Is this guy kidding me? He played on a team, and at one point or another during the season, on the same line with the following people:
Steven “Rocket Richard in my 2nd season” Stamkos
Marty “Art Ross and Hart trophy winner” St. Louis
Vinny “Rocket Richard winner” Lecavalier
Ryan “Olympic Hockey Silver medalist” Malone.
How much more of a chance do you need you bum? I blame half of Vinny Lecavalier’s struggles last year on this asshole. I don’t think I am the only one since head coach Rick Tochett healthy scratched Tanguay more than once last season. If I ever see this guy, I don’t think I’m going to punch him. I think an open handed smack to the face is better fitting for him.
If you feel that I have left anyone off of this list, feel free to let me know. And don’t be offended, this is all in good fun. Sort of…..